A note from Roscoe

Roscoe here always has so much to say in our home. Here is what I think he might be thinking in dog words...

"Being the man of the house might sound rather prestigious but it’s a never-ending job to keep things orderly in my house especially when having to contend with dimwitted dogs and lazy, irritable humans.  To be honest I’m really not appreciated for all that I do around here.  It’s a tough job and the rewards are few but it’s a job that must be done.

From the moment they wake up to the moment they go to bed I’m watching over my humans with extreme diligence and nothing goes without my notice and I’m the first to tell the humans something is happening in my house.  

Take for example the doorbell.  When it rings, who notices? Me!  Lord knows who might be at the door.  A salesperson, a Jehovah’s Witness, maybe a burglar.  Ok, a burglar probably wouldn’t ring the doorbell but you can’t be too careful.  But when the doorbell rings I need to see who it is because, hey, I’m the protector of this house.  You think that overweight, middle-aged guy watching the History Channel is going to do anything if someone comes to the door?  I think not.  

“Ding dong!”

“HEY!  THAT’S THE DOOR!  DID YOU HEAR THAT?!   SOMEONE’S AT THE DOOR!  WE NEED TO CHECK IT OUT.  WHO COULD IT BE?  WE MUST GO QUICKLY.  LET’S GO CHECK IT OUT.  STOP YELLING AT ME, I’M TRYING TO GET TO THE DOOR TO SEE WHO IT IS.  HEY, WHO IS THAT?  YOU JUST OPENED THE DOOR!  THEY’RE WALKING IN.  WHAT DO THEY WANT!?  WHY HAVEN’T THEY RECOGNIZED ME?!  WHY ARE YOU STILL YELLING AT ME?!  DON’T YOU SEE THESE PEOPLE?!  WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES?!  LOOK, THEY’RE SHAKING YOUR HANDS AND HUGGING YOU!  WHY ARE THEY DOING THAT?  WHAT’S GOING ON?  WHY ARE YOU STILL YELLING AT ME?!  HEY, THEY’RE SITTING DOWN IN MY SPOT!  THAT’S MY SPOT!!  HEY, GET OUT OF MY SPOT!!  WOULD YOU STOP YELLING AT ME?!”

I don’t know why I care so much.  Nobody else in this house seems to care much about anything.  The Lab just stares up in the trees at the squirrels and periodically snoops over the fence at our neighbors.  The Chihuahua sleeps all the time but has managed to make the humans get up and open the door for her when she needs to poop.  Those humans really spoil her.  What a princess!  And that cat.  Who the heck allowed that fur ball to move into my house? Does anyone notice that she gets up on the furniture and pulls on the window shades?  Not unless I say something.  

Well, if it weren’t for me my humans wouldn’t know the half of what goes on around here.  They are utterly clueless, at least the male is.  But I’ll keep doing my best to take care of these lugs.  You can’t help but love them."